I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
