White coat. Heels.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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