there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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