Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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