i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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