i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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