He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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