I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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