God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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