Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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