We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
