just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
