Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize