I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
