This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
