That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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