I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
