so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
