i think my mom watched the whole time
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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