did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
