It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize