She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize