I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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