pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
