What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
