She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
