Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
