Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
