then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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