You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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