I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
