I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
