and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
