I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
