There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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