She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
