i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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