there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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