Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
