he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
