my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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