is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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