come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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