Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
