It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
