I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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