i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
