i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
