hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
