i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
