Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
