No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize