Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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