My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
