From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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