How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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