Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
