she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize