I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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