we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
