dude i'm inner monologue high
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
