We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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