THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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