Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
