well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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