I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
