Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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