ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
