Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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