Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
accomplished twins. life is a go
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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