So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
